From: doctordee2@telkomsa.net To: macpherson-chambers@hotmail.co.uk Subject: I hope this email isn't too disturbing... discussing some thoughts.... Date: Fri, 26 Oct 2007 16:35:53 -0700 Ann, I love you. JUST the way you are. BIG CYBER HUG. And no hidden messages here. You never threatened to knock my block off, so I didn't have to tell you that it would have been a stupid move. You were never a psychopath, more on the warpath,and very very deeply hurt. And bright as hell. You were like an animal caught in a trap, gnawing at the caught foot, trying to get away. That had nothing to do with the nuthouse, but it had a lot to do with the hurt and rage. Both of which I considered very healthy responses to what happened to you in childhood. I love your fight and anger and fury and fireworks, because they affirm you and your adulthood and you are no longer a child that can be used and hurt and messed about without your consent. You made that hurt and anger work for you, and it protects you and your children in an ugly world. have you ever seen a famous anti-war poster. raised fist ... "NEVER AGAIN!" I knew what you were doing, and I knew what you were capable of,and I liked you and liked your spunk and your fight for a place in the sun.... and Marie Paterson had an inkling, too.Or at least she sussed me out enough to figure out to trust me about you. The rest of them were kind of assholes. I think I was an asshole, too, and still have moments when I do real asshole things, but generally being around you, Ann, was NOT boring. Dunno. what do you think? I never understood what tests you were setting me up for that I passed or didn't pass.... but I did understand the issue of trust. I never knew if you understood the one message I could try to get across .... that it wasn't YOUR fault. There ARE a lot of dangerous and stupid and destructive people out there, and you were a child and couldn't stand up for yourself like you can now. And no one watched over you to protect you. It was never your fault and not your fault. I watched Natasha very carefully, and made sure she had self defense lessons...she did karate, too... and was provincial champion when she was 16... precisely because of what I knew had happened to women I knew. I told her and her girlfriends what to do and how to act if they were in a dicey situation. When they were like 5 and 6 and older. I told her from when she was very very litttle that no one had the right to touch her without her permission. I am very glad that I did that. Tash has been ok, and two of her girlfriends were almost abducted when they were in their very very low teens, and fought the adult men off. Walking down the street from our house. Not to mention the young girl that was abducted from the street behind our house, and never was seen again.... though they caught the man years later because a 16 year old was abducted and managed to escape.... And that was a quiet, middle class, secluded suburb. There are a couple of hundred rape/molestation cases that I was involved with in S. Africa...and some in the US too... And other children and their fathers, not just mom's boyfriend.... testosterone disease. It is estimated that 25% of the women in S Africa would have been raped during their lifetime. It is dangerous out there. I hope this letter isn't too disturbing. d